Life reflections at 40: GENUINELY GRATEFUL!

On my 39 years of existence I am always grateful for all that happened in my life. Good things that I truly enjoyed and bad experiences that served as hard lessons. 

These are my life reflections. Wink-wink. 

Health: My memories are still vivid na karga ako ni Nanay and tumatakbo papunta kay Dr Almazan. It’s clear in my mind nung ang daming tao lagi sa bahay namin because suddenly I can’t stretch my legs and can’t walk. Asthma attacks? Yes I have those until college days. Very flimsy creature ako ano? Haha! 

But now, you can challenge me to walk 20k steps for days. I can do HIIT for 90mins and jog 5KM. I can say that I am healthier than my younger years. But syempre since I am ageing I am taking extra care sa mga buto-buto ko and extra effort to know ang wants and rejections ng katawan ko. 

Money: Dahil natapos na ang una naming goal for HOA mas nakakaluwag na kami ni Abbey ngayon. Dati cut-to-cut, walang malalaking travels..umaasa sa mga pa-contest and freebies para makanood kami ng sine. Lahat yan ay para makaipon, ngayon may kaunting room to wiggle na para sa susunod naming goal and we alloted funds to enjoy life. 

Now we are looking forward to more opportunities where to invest para sa HOW. 

Career: I am thankful to every boss and everyone na nakatrabaho ko. Madami akong natutunan sa inyo. This is my struggle now. Confusion that I need to clear out para sa sarili ko at ikakatahimik ni Abbey. Haha! 

Friendships: Salamat Elite. I realised na mahal talaga namin ang isa’t-isa. Ang problema ng isa ay problema ng lahat. Ang success ng isa ay success naming lahat. 

I am opening up myself for new friendships. Sa mga introverts na tulad ko, nakaka-relate kayo? Ang hirap diba?! Out of the box. Haha. So please bare with me.

Relationship: Dahil wala nga akong trabaho since 2020, 24/7 magkasama kami ni Abbey nung pandemic era. Di kami nag-aaway at ang matindi di kami nag-kakasawaan. Lalong nagkakilanlan at lalong tumibay. Ang cheesy! Hehe.

Family: We lost Nanay and somehow it gave us an emotional turmoil. Hanggang ngayon there’s a longing na sana andyan pa sya. 

But we do not have time to delve in that past, so here we are making new memories with Tatay. 

Selfcare: I have personal battles that I know I have won. The key thing for this is to know what triggers it.

Knowing yourself is not an easy job. There are lies you are telling to yourself that became your truth. Accepting my flaws, limitations and when to stop the fight is the best thing I have learned before hitting 40.

Spirituality: I am always sticking in my beliefs and glad that Abbey never bypassed those. 

Well that’s my life before 40. It is playful, painful, crazy, daunting, euphoric and hopeful life! 

Happy 40 sa aking mga ka-1983! Let’s all welcome our 40 with a grateful and blessed heart and mind! Kaya natin ito!

She is Not a PERFECT MOTHER

Dolores Mangila
1949 -2021

We have misunderstandings.. a lot! I can’t count how many times we shouted at each other. Stomping my feet, banging my door, throwing tantrums. 

She habitually nags at me! She didn’t permit me to do things that I want to do. Don’t do this, don’t eat that. Don’t say those kinds of words. I am always being unreasonable for her. We constantly fight! She cry. I cry. My question is “Why Nanay doesn’t always understand me?” 

When I am married and away from home, I realized Nanay knew me more than myself. She knew when she needed to stop bothering me. She knew when to allow me to go out and with who. She knew what’s best for me. She knew when I can get what I want and together we laughed when I failed. 

She is perfect and best mother anyone can have. I am the NOT PERFECT daughter.

Let Me LOVE You A Little More!

Nanay's air-conditioned room. 

1:52 AM (24 June 2018) and my Nanay is still awake. Murmuring words that I cannot understand. Crying but I do not know where the pain is coming from. I held her hand, arranged her foot pillow and rubbed my palm on her head to pacify her. But those actions brought no difference. 

While looking at her, I can't help but cry. All the memories flashed back onto me. 

All the happy memories and the lessons I have learnt from her. How she helped people and her "pusong mamon" to "pusong bato" moment. I remembered the time my father carried me and Nanay was running in the middle of the night to go to my "suking" doctor. 

While staring at her hand, I asked her, "Nanay, ilang milyon binilang ng kamay na ito?". She just stared at me. But all I can do is cry. The next statement blurted from my mouth are words of gratefulness. "Nanay, salamat po sa lahat ng pagod mo sa akin. Salamat sa lahat ng pasenya at pagmamahal. Salamat sa lahat pag-aalaga. Nay, kulang pa ang ginagawa ko ngayon para mapantayan lahat ng pagod mo para sa amin na pamilya mo."

Last few nights, every move she makes, made me jumped out of my bed just to check her. I always have a “heart attack”. But I do not mind. I told myself, this is my time to watch you sleep. Watch you snore and keep on check if your diaper is full or not. This is my only time to return the favor, but sometimes I felt that it is not enough. 

Alzheimer's is a painful disease not only for the patient but also to the children specially for the spouse. Be careful with your brain. They need proper rest and nutrition. 

Just now, I turned off the light and waiting and hoping that this action will make her feel sleepy or better. 

... Around 3AM she fell asleep.

My Mom, Our Family and The Alzheimer's

No! I will not inflict stress on me. But when I saw my mother's current state...I cried inside and burst out when nobody is around. 

Nanay is experiencing Alzheimer's disease. Her brain's age is 85 but her body is strong as 60. Her real age is only 68. 

Last year, we decided to go to Manila Doctors Hospital to see a geriatric doctor. We just want to solve her sleeping issues. Yep! Her kind of Alzheimer's is the one that can't sleep. She can be awake for 3 days straight and it cause headaches and gastric pain on her. After all the laboratory tests and CT scan, her doctor prescribed sleeping pills, vitamins and medicines. It all goes well, until my Ate (Older Sister) terrifyingly described our Nanay as "Nauupos na kandila" last September. 

That time changed everything. 

Being with a person who is suffering with this kind of disease is stressful. My Father and the rest of our family is exhausted in dealing with my mom. Then it came a time that exhaustion turned to be ferocious. I am guilty to that, I will not deny it and I regret that. Then my family back home saw my mom on the verge of death, reality stroked each one of us and we started to see a new point of view. We saw my mom's state on her own perspective. 

As suggested by the doctor, we tried a new medicine called Cerebrolysin. As observed by my Ate, she told me that Nanay responded well in that medicine but then after few days my mom cannot walk, stand or sit. Medicine reacts violently in my mom's body. Wrecking not only her but also us. 

Sometimes she speaks softer than whisper, that even putting my ear near her mouth is futile. She cries every other hour and while on her tears she is praying. She always giving thanks to Apo. (God in Kapampangan Dialect). When she is crying, my dad will go out of our house, do not want to see my mom's reality. There are times that she forces herself to remember our names and every time she tries...she fails. There are days that she only do is cry, day that she is a snob and to my surprise, one day she enumerated names of people that borrowed money to her. 

The doctor explains the causes of this disease; primarily it's in our genes and secondarily my mom's brain is very tired. My mom work way too hard for our family to enjoy what life we have now. Nanay is one of the helping hand not only in our clan but also in our community. While on her check-up the doctor look into her and brags "Ang sipag mo Nanay nung kabataan mo". 

No. I won't chase miracle through drugs. After all, my mom is the third woman I saw that the medical case was worsened by taking such kind of western medicine. All I want now is to give comfort not only for my mom but also for my dad. And pray to GOD to remember all my mom's kindness and good actions not only for our family but also to her friends. I am trusting my mother's life into HIS hands.

Bilib Ako Sa Tatay Ko

"Huwag kang makulit!", "Ikaw lang pumasok sa kwarto Wilma, nagkulang ng piso ang pera ko, nagiba pa ayos ng wallet ko.", "Matuto ka mag-ayos ng sarili mong cabinet ng damit", "Ayaw ko ng makalat bunso.", "Nakakainis si tatay. Hanggang 6pm lang ako pwede maglaro sa labas!", "Kainis si tatay, ayaw nya daw ako makikita na magsusugal kahit pa-piso-piso.", "Huwag daw ako manigarilyo, ang kill joy talaga ni tatay", "Wilma, kaibigan mo yang mga pumunta dito? Ni hindi marunong mag-magandang hapon? Siguro ganyan ka din sa kanila! Mamili ka ng ibang kaibigan.", "Umiinom ka na daw Ma?". "Gusto mo rin ng meron sila? Pagtrabahuhan mo!". Nung nagta-trabaho na ako, "Ma, asan ka na? 9pm na uwi na. La-lock ko na itong pinto."

Yan ang mga tumanim sa isip ko. Kung gaano ka-strikto si tatay. Naku! Naku! Naku! Sinong di maiinis na ang mga kalaro mo eh pakalat-kalat pa sa labas at naglalaro at kwentuhan samantalang ikaw nasa bahay nakikitingin n lng sa knila? Sinong di maiinis na bawal ka ng any form ng kahit na anong sugal..as in kahit ano, even alog-tantyan na ang taya nyo ay balat ng candy or goma? Eh yung isa sa sya sa mga factor na ico-consider mo sa pagpili ng kaibigan? Nung bata ako 6pm ang curfew ng tumanda na ako 9pm tumatawag na yan sa cellphone. Pag lumampas ka sa 9 maghanap ka n ng tutulugan mo at isipin mo na isasagot mo paguwi ng bahay ninyo kinabukasan. 

Takot mga kalaro even mga pinsan ko sa tatay ko. Kasi pag sinabi nya, sinabi nya. Kasi pag ginawa nyang batas sa loob ng bahay, alam mo na yun ay para sa ikabubuti ninyong lahat. Susunod at susunod ka. Iisipin mo lagi kung tama ba at ano kaya ang opinyon nya sa gagawin mo. Minsan nga nung bata ako, sabi ko sana iba na lang tatay ko, ung tatay na lahat ng sasabihin ko at gustong gawin eh papayagan ako. Yun ang akala ko. Until...

Until one day, nagsipagtandaan na kami, ung mga babae na buntis na! Yung mga lalake addict na! Bihira sa kasing-edad ko na laging nasa labas ng bahay ng dis-oras na ng gabi na nakatapos ng pag-aaral. Nuon ko napagtanto... salamat sa kamay na bakal ni tatay. 

Salamat dahil sa mga tamang pangaral at tamang panunupil sa aking layaw eh naging maayos kaming magka-kapatid. Walang nabuntis ng hindi kasal at walang nakabuntis. Walang nging addict sa droga o alak man o naging kriminal. 

Nakita ko naman ang ibang tatay na madami ring bawal sa ibang anak pero napariwara pa din. May batas nga sa loob ng bahay, di nmn sinusunod ng mga anak. Bakit? Kasi hindi napapatupad ng maayos at ng may paninindigan. Kasi mismong magulang ang sumusuway sa batas. Hello! Pati nanay ko pag lumampas ng 10pm sigurado away yun hanggang kinabukasan. Pati nanay ko kaya sinasbihan ni tatay tungkol sa mga kumare/kumpare nya. Haha. Walang ligtas ni isa sa amin hanggat nasa puder ka nya. 

Kaya bilib ako sa taong may paninindigan at walang pakialam sa sasabihin ng ibang tao basta alam nyang nasa tama sya. Bilib ako sa tatay ko. Muli, salamat Tay sa kamay na bakal.

Ang Anak ay Hindi Obligasyon ang Magulang

"Kayamanan ko ang mga anak ko.", madalas mo yan maririnig sa mga magulang. Sarap pakinggan diba? Eh ito?.."Pinag-aral ko kayo, ngayon na may mga trabaho na kayo magbayad na kayo sa amin ng nanay/tatay ninyo!"...Anong magiging reaction mo? 

Ang ibang magulang "utang" pala ang dating sa pagpapalaki ng anak. Kaya pala nag-anak ng madami para yung mga yun na ang bumuhay sa kanila at sitting-pretty na lang pag nagsipaglakihan na ang mga junakis nila. So paano naman ang kinabukasan ng anak? Wala na din? Lahat mapupunta sa magulang at pagpapalaki ng sarili nilang mga anak. They do not have capacity to plan and invest for their own retirement. At pag sila naman tumanda, it is either they will work on their entire life or aasa sa maliit na pension ng gobyerno o aasa sa mga anak. And the cycle goes on and on and on.

May naririnig pa nga ako, high-school palang sinasabi na sa anak na dalin sila sa ibang bansa, bilan sila ng sasakyan o ng bahay. Hindi naman masama mangarap ano po? Pero nagbibigay tayo ng maling isipin. Namumulat na ang mga bata na kayo bilang parents nila eh dedepende nyo ang mga naudlot nyong pangarap sa mga anak ninyo. Meron nga ako kaibigan, ang tagal bago nakapag-asawa dahil di pa daw tapos ang ang obligasyon nya sa pamilya nya. Lumagay kaya kayo sa ganong sitwasyon? Ang bigat ano po? Bigat na dalahin. Yung isa naman nag-abroad at nung gusto ng umuwi ng babae ang sabi sa kanya ng nanay nya "Anak, dyan ka na muna, di pa natin kaya na sama-sama tayo dito." Pasan mo ang daigdig lang ang tema pag ganyan ang maririnig mo. Nakakaiyak pero reality po yan. 

Naalala ko ang sabi ng tatay at nanay ko palagi "Obligasyon ng magulang ang mga anak. Pero ang anak eh hindi obligasyon ang magulang". Nakinkil sa mga isip nming magkakapatid yun. Sa ilang taon ko na nagtatrabaho kahit kelan di ako hiningan ng singko ng magulang ko. Hindi ako binigyan ng obligasyon o tinokahan sa bahay. Nagbibigay ako kung ano lang ang kaya ko. Pero nung nakapag-abroad ako, monthly may Php3,000 sila sa akin. Malaki o maliit? Yun ang di ko alam. Pero alam nyo tuwing nagigipit kaming mag-asawa nakakahiram kami sa knya ng daan-daang libo. At sinasabi ng tatay ko, "Yan ang pinapadala nyo, iniipon ko." 

Hindi ko sinulat ito para inggitin kayo dahil ganito ang mga magulang ko. Sinulat ko to para magmulat sa atin na sana pag naging magulang na tayo, eh wag tayong maging pabigat sa mga anak natin kapag may kanya-kanya na din silang pamilya. Ngayon palang magplano ng maayos para sa anak at para sa sarili. Baguhin natin ang mga dating papananaw na ngayon eh nagdudulot ng mga malaking di pagkaka-unawaan. Minsan sa madalas eh nagiging away ng mag-asawa or ng magkakapatid kung sino at magkano ang magbibigay para sa monthly expenses ng magulang.

Sa mga anak naman, hindi ko to sinulat para maging balasubas. Magbigay ng naayon sa puso. Tandaan nyo ang unang utos na may pangako, "Mahalin ang mga magulang". Para sa mga nanay at tatay, huwag maging "magulang" o tuso, huwang maging tamad kundi maging maayos na ama't-ina sa mga supling. 

2014: On HIS Grace

Me: Why is your face like that?
Colleague: Because I am sad.
Me: Why are you sad?
Colleague: You know, sometimes you will wake up and feel unhappy.
Me: Why?
Colleague: Don't tell me it didn't happened to you before.
Me: It happens to me. But not a lot. And whenever it occurs, I asked my husband to sing. Oh! I'll call my husband, I will ask him to sing for you.

Then she smiled. And every time I see her she always tells me that she's happy and no need to call my hubby. Haha.

*******

This 2014 many hurdles were set on our way. We were tested financially, emotionally and our trust to ALMIGHTY.

Some were the events that can break me and my husband but we chose to cling more to each other and jumped together these hurdles.

--> This year my mother-in-law won her battle with cancer. No more pain, she's in the hands of the LORD.

You can see how wrecked he is inside. He still hopes for her to heal but all the medical facts shows the opposite. "Do you have any regrets that's why you can't let her go", I asked Abbey. He replied back "No". Then after that he woke up from reality that we need to accept the fact about Mama's case. Abbey flew back and forth to Manila to spend more time with Mama. We Skype-d, call and sms Mama everyday. We want her to feel how much we love her. We always asked her "Mama love mo kami? Hanggang saan? Proud ka ba sa amin?" She will answer back with a snobbish tone. Malamanng nakukulitan na yun sa amin. Haha! 

My mother-in-law proved how easy to deal with this infamous disease if you all give all your worries to HIM.

--> My father hit by a mild stroke and this made our family bond stronger. Every family member had done their part. My sister and Kuya Laleng gave their time to be with father while he is on ICU and Kuya Ric took care of the medical bill through the help of Philhealth. Me? I flew back home to clean my dad's 4-storey house. Haha! Mission accomplished.

--> ALMIGHTY's grace shone on us again when the lymphoma of my sister-in-law was detected in an early stage. HE again proved that HE owns the richness in this world. From first session up to the eighth, Ate Rizbeth's chemotherapy was finished. THE ALMIGHTY provided it with no hesitation.

Blessings poured to Ate Riz. From siblings, relatives, churchmates, friends, government organizations and even private companies helped financially. "Kahit kailan ang DIOS ko ay hindi nagkulang". 

Despite of her condition, Abbey and I got a good chance to spend with Ate Rizbeth and her family here in Singapore not only once but twice!!! :)

--> My grandmother passed away. I am happy. All sufferings were done and she left wonderful memories for me to reminisce.

The day that I went to visit her and she asked if she can have my earrings. When I handed the pair of gold to her she eyed for my ring. I refused to give it to her. Why? "Lola, wedding ring po namin ito ni Abbey." She looked to my husband and gave a hilarious laugh. Haha! Everytime I phoned Lola, she always say a simple "Salamat sa lahat. Buti ka pa di mo ako nalilimutan". (Shocks I wanna cry).

I do not regret anything as I know I have done and gave the best I could as her granddaughter. And I know she is proud of me and my husband.

Happiness is a choice as also your sadness. You can't totally avoid problems to come your way but you can choose the problem to be a blessing rather an obstacle.

Everything happens for a reason and I hope this post help you to see more light than darkness in every challenge we encountered.

Choose to be happy. 

Have You Asked Your Parents If They Are Proud Of You?

I'm always longing for a conversation with my mom. She can talk all day and night about her past. The past that holds her darkest time, my mom and dad's struggles, and how they mapped it to success.

My mom never got a chance to be in college. She really wants to finish studies and be an employee but she needs to assist my grandmother in everything they are in to. She told me that she even walked a mile selling fish to their neighbourhood. 

She went on to many hardships. She and her friends sold cooked food at employees in Philippines' Central Business District. She envied the staffs at first, the uniforms and well-groomed hair, high heels and the scents of their perfumes but when she befriend them and know how much they earn, a spark of hope lighted on her head. She earns more than the employees and inculcated in her mind that business will get you successful, financially, and not being an employee. 

Business after business until she settled for a second-hand lumber firm. When I was born all was okay. Mom and dad have spare money for all our the needs and wants. Mom provided insurances with mutual fund to dad and my two brothers. I had educational plan. When Ate reached her 18th birthday, a 4-storey building was built to be our new home. She bought parcels of land in different places for us to build our future houses when we got married. Would you imagine she even got a land for our final resting place or if we want to be cremated she got also lockers for our urns?

My mom have an Alzheimer and that disease is faster than it seems. Every time I call home, I always ask her, if she still knows me, if she still knew her past, if she knew what's happening around, if she knew my pains and my husband's success. And before hanging up the phone, I never forget to ask her if she is proud of me and my siblings. She always answers me back "Oo naman!" and one by one she will enumerate the reasons why.

After reciting her reasons she will next remind me of her golden rule. "Di baleng ikaw ang masaktan kesa ikaw ang makapanakit, di baleng ikaw ang niloko kesa ikaw manloko, di baleng ikaw ang nakawan wag lng ikaw ang magnakaw." When I was a child I always answered back "oo na, paulit-ulit naman" but now I really appreciate her rule. That made me and my siblings better persons.

That's how our talk goes every time I call. I love how satisfied she is when she remembers all her experiences and saw the fruit of her labour. 

Thanks Nanay for all the sacrifices, we are reaping the benefits today.

Let's Count the Blessings!

I am 30 and I know it. I am old, yeah I admit it and I am happy. Since January 2013, I keep on thinking what achievements that I had done with the past 3 decades. So here are some to summarize..

Family: My parents, nobody can replace them in my heart. They're the best parents for me; they know how to spoil and how to teach me a lesson. They know what makes me happy and what makes me really mad. My father taught me the importance of inner scorecard, to choose friends wisely and how to be frugal in money. My mom is always there for me. I know I got her style in dressing and the thinking that wife must not be totally dependent to their husbands on finances. She also taught us how important to own your own house and lot.

            My siblings are the best! Even they want to choke me to death because of brat attitude, they are always there to be my guide and be my models. We grew up in different generations and believe in different religions but in relation to our different manners, we understand each other.

            In-Laws: Abbey came from a well-intact and very sweet family. I am so thankful to be part of their growing family. So thankful to have a very kind and very sweet new set of parents and siblings.

            Friends: They proved to all of the people that are around us that they are not after my money. Ha! Hey!, they are richer than me. :) Truly, my set of friends is a gem to cherish. It seems that we knew each other since birth. Love you all! 

Education: I am an ordinary student constantly in Section 1, until I came to the point to see what subject I will excel, and that is Physics... The subject that almost everyone hates. For the first time, I joined a quiz bee and won the first price. I garnered the Best in Science Award & Mercury Drug Awardee. In college, I took up the Bachelor of Science in Customs Administrations for 3 1/2 years. With tears, I passed the board exam with an average of 81%.

Career: At the age of 26, I became the supervisor of a certain company, went to Malaysia, China, Indonesia, Vietnam and Cambodia for procuring. Be known in the Bureau of Customs. The latest is that here in Singapore, after sending my particulars at 3PM, 5PM on the same day the Ministry approved my application. Now I am working happily with in my current company for more than a year, with great boss, great colleagues and very cooperative clients.

Finances: As my usual when I am working back in Philippines, 50% is directly going to my other account as my savings. Now it is not 50%, now I can save for 80% of my earnings, (achievement indeed). Now you know why I want all to be free, haha!  Me and my husband have some investments also, getting ready and wishing for an early retirement.

Love Life: When I am counting my blessings, I count Abbey twice. Actually, I do not need to explicate why. Every person me and my husband knew always told me that I am lucky to have Abbey. Always replying them, "I am not lucky, I am BLESSED."

In past 30 years, I had gone many trials; some told me that it is a failure but for me that is only a lesson to ponder and to get ready for another challenge for me to succeed. 

Prayers is my only armor for the future and I am hoping that we can use all the lessons of the past to jump over the hurdle of trials.

3 Days of Blindness

What a wonderful world!, isn't? But how will someone say this phrase if they are blind. Black all around. I was moved by this article of Helen Keller  first published last ---. Helen made a list a of the things she wants to do if she'll be given a sense of sight in three days. Reading that, I am quite shocked, there are so many things that I am taking for granted. Actually almost everything around me was not appreciated.

I know, these eyes is a vital part of human being but If Almighty will take out my eyes, what will I do in three days. Just thinking, my gosh, all negative thoughts rushing down in me. But I need to look on a brighter side.

Okay, on the first day, I will wake up 7am and stay at my room, I will embrace the full hour of silence. Then I will ask my husband to come near me and I will try to memorize his face features, I will try to communicate with him and ask him all questions I can ask and memorize the ups and downs of his voice. I will try to determine if he is happy, sad, sincere through the words and voice that will left his mouth, that will last until noon and my whole afternoon, I will ask my niece and nephews to gather around at my parents place and all I want to do is hear all their voices. All the shouts of joy of the kids and laughter's of reminiscing. We will take dinner and savor all the aroma of the foods. I will eat all the food I can take and slowly chew every bit of it. In evening I will ask my husband to play some Mozart music and ask him to teach me how to find my boxes of teas and how to prepare it for myself.

Second day, I will ask my friends to bring me to a beach, I will sunbathe. I want to feel the morning rays of the sun and  hear the sounds of gushing waves. After lunch I nap just outside a cottage. Why outside? I want to feel the summer breeze. Around dawn I want me and my friends help me to stroll along the shore, I want to feel the hotness of every grains of the sand on my feet. On dinner I will ask them to build a bonfire and have a dinner and sip some red wine. I will spend all my time to listen to their stories and I will just move mouth to speak once they ask me. Haha.

On my 3rd day, I want to be one with nature, I want to go to a park and want to conquer my fear to lizards. Eeeeeee! I want to inhale fresh oxygen from the plants. My afternoon to my last hour of darkness, I want to be with my husbands arm. I want to listen to the Words from Bible.

As I made a thought for that idea, who says darkness is sadness? Now, I will start to appreciate more on the things around me before the unseen comes. Why? everything I can see here in earth is temporal and the unseen is yet to come and eternal.

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. - 2 Corinthians 4:18